BY DAN
Ricky Stuart is reportedly irate teams have discovered John Bateman’s only weakness.
In an appearance on The Professor’s Late Hit Bateman was visibly petrified of a tiny little saltie. Coach Stuart believes this will now lead to teams selectively placing similarly sized crocodiles at the entrance to grounds and change rooms in a bid to stop his English import.

“I’m furious” Stuart probably told the Sportress. “Bate-o has made a huge blunder giving away his kryptonite like that. I would have expected more from a man with his experience.”
“It could be a real issue going forward. There’s going to flipping crocodiles everywhere.”
Stuart is already considering other means of dealing with the likely ramifications. Rumours that Corey Horsburgh has offered to wrestle any and all crocs the team enoucnters were confirmed by Stuart.
“Yeah he offered, but he said that before John was on tv. Corey’s always looking for things to fight. Rangas, hey?
“But I don’t want to risk our young talent on this. I might have to call up someone from Mounties to do it. It’s a real setback”.
We approached John Bateman for comment but the little saltie was between us and him and we were scared too.