Your Conference Championships Preview: 20 Bold Predictions

BY DAN

By this stage of the NFL season there isn’t really all that much to say. Is Aaron Rodgers’ ankle up to the destructive defensive force that is Seattle? Will his O-line be able to communicate with him and each other in the cacophony of noise that emanates out of CenturyLink field? Can the Patriots O-line hold together with Bryan Stork out? Will the Colts newfound ability to stop the run displayed in its past two games – in part thanks to the return of Arthur Jones – continue in New England?

Every question you have is answered with “well…I guess we’ll see”.

Which, really, is the problem with this time of year. Any responsible or reasonable commentator has to hedge their position because there is no right answer. There will be a right answer on Sunday or as Aussie’s like to call it “Monday”. But right now any person with an ounce of understanding of the game will give a view in full knowledge that the nature of sport is that upsets happen. All the freakin’ time.

But really what’s the point of waiting until after the games to have ill-informed opinion? We’ve been spouting our poorly thought-through rants in this space all season long. Let’s not stop now. We’re freaking 6 from 8 so far in the playoffs, even against the spread. Clearly just picking games isn’t enough. We’re going above and beyond this week – we’re giving 10 truth bombs to enjoy before each game.

PACKERS AT SEAHAWKS

  1. Aaron Rogers’ ankle will be mentioned at least 4 times during the game.
  2. Russell Wilson will not throw a passing touchdown to a wide receiver.
  3. You will hear at least one person say that Richard Sherman is ‘’well spoken’ and ‘outspoken’ instead of saying ‘I’m racist’ and ‘he can be a dick’.
  4. Seattle will run run run over the Packers defensive front 7. I’m calling 150 yards plus for Lynch, and over 75 yards for Wilson.
  5. The Packers won’t be able to get their own ground game going – Lacy will be held under 60 yards.
  6. You will hear at least one person say that Pete Carroll is a great leader of men, causing approximately 2.3 riots in the wider Boston area.
  7. Rogers will still throw two touchdown passes against the best passing defence in the league. But will only throw for 250 yards because I dunno. I’m not sure how these two predictions coexist.
  8. Some idiot will call Jordy Nelson ‘hard-working’, ‘scrappy’, or ‘blue collar’ despite him being one of the most physically gifted athletes on earth.
  9. I will not care about the amount of noise in Seattle. Nor will I care that they brought proper coffee to America because really, coffee in the USA is still awful.
  10. Seattle will beat the Packers 27-17

COLTS AT PATRIOTS

  1. Andrew Luck’s neck beard will be mentioned so much you will wish he had a sore ankle.

    It is pretty magnificent.
    It is pretty magnificent.
  2. Dan Herron – he of two fumbles in two postseason starts – will not fumble the ball.
  3. The Patriots won’t be able to run like they did the last time they played the Colts (246 total including over 200 to rookie running back Jonas Gray) because the Colts will stack the box with 6 and 7 people.
  4. The commentators will mix up Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola at least once in the game.
  5. The Colts will try to make the Pats throw long outside the numbers – the Pats will fail at this. Their only long reception will be down the seam to Gronkowski.
  6. The Colts will pick off Brady at least once.
  7. Andrew Luck will throw for more than 400 yards.
  8. But will throw zero touchdowns to TY Hilton.
  9. Rob Gronkowski will have over 100 receiving yards and two touchdowns.
  10. You will see a photo of Tom Brady from some ridiculous ad that will make you wonder how this man survives the locker room.
  11. Colts will upset the Pats 31-27.
Blue Steel
Blue Steel

Excellent. Already one for one.

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