BY DAN

The fact that today is the day the Canberra Raiders were meant to be playing, and aren’t, is “pretty shit” according to the National Hype Measurement Insitute.

“The National Rugby League’s decision to suspend the season due to the impact of the Coronavirus may have been right, but it does make today pretty shit according to our measurements” a spokesperson told the Sportress.

“We’ve already seen a 32 per cent increase in moping, exasperated sighs are through the roof and wistfully staring off into the distance and thinking about Josh Papalii is up a massive 62 per cent.”

While acknowledging it’s not the biggest problem right now, the spokesperson said they were looking into ways to reduce the impact over time.

“One option we’re exploring is repeatedly watching Mal Meninga highlights on YouTube. It’s not a cure but it does help with the symptoms.”

More to come.