CANBERRA: Raiders fans are being urged by the National Hype Institute to make sure they are prepared for the gruelling NRL season ahead of them.
“So often we focus on the players’ preparation, but the fans need to be ready too”, a spokesperson for the institute told The Sportress.
“We’re urging all die-hards to go and test their vocal chords, remote throwing arms, and beer drinking elbows to make sure they’re ready for the season.”
“Maybe go yell ‘they’ve been doing it all day sir’ at people stockpiling toilet paper, or throw the remote for the dog. Practice the Viking clap before your kid’s sport this weekend. Sink a few tins with some mates, just to make sure that elbow is in mid-season form of course.”
“Preparation is very important. We can’t have fans burning out from all the excitement too early.”
When asked if any sort of exercise or stretching might help, the spokesperson said “I suppose it can’t hurt, if you’re into that sorta thing. I tried jogging once. Wasn’t fun. Do not recommend.”
The Sportress approached Coach Stuart for comment and he said “you don’t looked prepared for anything but eating a pie pudgy” and walked away.