Everyone totally believes the Roosters

BY DAN

Everyone totally believes the Roosters have one of the lowest total amounts of third-party agreements in the NRL.

Despite operating in one of Australia’s most corporate-money heavy environments, with one of the most “linked in” business leaders as their club leader, with one of the most star-heavy rosters in the league, the Roosters have reported one of the lowest amount of third party agreements. And everyone in the NRL totally believes them.

“I mean of course it makes perfect sense” an NRL spokesman told The Sportress. “Uncle Nic would never lean on his litany of renowned business connections to help his players with a bit of extra coin.”

The spokesman then bit into an onion.

“Shit thought that was an apple.”

“Anyway. Nothing to see here I reckon” the Clancy Wiggum look-alike told us.

The Sportress also approached the Roosters for comment.

“We’re just not that kind of club”, a spokesman for the Roosters told us. “We think players should take a pay cut to come here, and we’re not interested in anyone else helping them out. And if they want to we definitely would never facilitate it. It’s just not how we roll.”

“Now where is my sombrero? I’ve got these brown paper bags full of…ah…lunch to deliver and it’s sunny out.


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