Report: Raiders fans “flying”

BY DAN

Canberra: Raiders fans are reportedly “flying” after their victory over the Melbourne Storm, according to the National Hype Measurement Institute.

Raiders fans in the wild.

Members of the institute had been in the field over the last few days to see what the outcomes were of the Raiders stunning comeback.

“What we’ve found is that Raiders fans are “flying”. It’s the second highest measurement on the fandom scale, and can lead to rapacious consumption of podcasts and news articles relating to the game or their prospects for a premiership,” confirmed a spokesperson.

“Fans have reported a feeling of well-being well beyond the norm; and there has been multiple examples of cornering family, friends and work colleagues to prosthelityze about the Green Machine.”

The institute warned that members of the public should approach unknown Raiders’ fans with caution, lest they be bear-hugged by a jovial stranger.

“It is expected that these feelings are temporary and can be associated with negative feelings like “getting your hopes up” and “being totally gutted.”

“But there are examples of “flying” also translating into “premiership success” which is reportedly a euphoric feeling associated with lots of beer and purchasing team merchandise.”

The institute thinks this feeling of “flying” will last at least the next 5-7 days. Until then the institute warns that Raiders fans may come across as “a bit smug” and “kinda nutty.”

More to come.

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