Bateman to play Wolverine


BREAKING: Marvel has announced Canberra Raiders backrower will play Wolverine in the upcoming reboot of the franchise currently in development.

Bateman in action as Wolverine (Courtesy Dion Georgopolous and The Canberra Times

Speaking confidentially to The Sportress, the producers of the movie cited his almost inhuman ability to recover from injury as a prime factor in the decision.

“The guy came back from a fractured eye socket after three weeks. He was meant to miss eight. That’s insane.

And perfect for Wolverine.”

The producers also noted that Bateman’s ability to go toe-to-toe with people 30 kilograms bigger than him and not flinch indicates he may also have adamantium implants.

“I mean we don’t know, but’s it’s the only logical explanation.”

Hollywood insiders indicated to The Sportress that Bateman was also approached to play the Terminator in the latest sequel, but turned it down due to footballing commitments.

Bateman and the Raiders were approached for comment but Sticky scowled at us so we ran away.

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