Selectors Shock at Australian, Marsh brothers, failure


The Australian Selectors are in utter shock after revelations the Marsh brothers might not be the spine of a stable middle order.

Foiled again!

Speaking after Australia lost 10 for 60 in a collapse for the ages, chairman of the National Selection Panel Trevor Hohns said he was shocked the Western Australian brothers weren’t able to provide a more robust performance.

“Like all Australians I just never saw this coming”, Hohns told The Sportress. “I just assumed that a history of underperformance meant they were due.”

Hohns pointed to their performances on the insipid pitches of last summer’s Ashes and in short form cricket as reasons to think this.

“I know Mitch only averages 28 and Shaun is averaging in the low-30s this year but they both had a good summer last year. I mean if you can score runs on flat Aussie decks and T20s surely it will translate to the slow-spinning pitches of Asia we traditionally struggle with.”

“I mean if it doesn’t we are just out of ideas as to how we find other options.”

When pressed about the controversial omission of Glenn Maxwell, Hohns simply responsed “who?”

Reports are that panel member Greg Chappell is looking into the local under 12s competition for potential replacements.

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