NRL’s Time To Shine


In a move lauded as genius by several underlings at NRL HQ, the management of the NRL Broadcast team has worked alongside Channel 9 to implement 6pm timeslots across 16 rounds of the 2017 season, and then handed them all to Foxsports.

“We’ve completely ignored the fact that we’re a TV based code” said one NRL employee. “Basically we’ve decided that the average punter can go and get f*#!@d, and that Friday night timeslots should now revolve around young families whose children are in that narrow window where they’re allowed out on a Friday night but still have to be home and in bed by 9:30ish.”

“If fans are unhappy with this they can download the NRL digital pass, and then have the game spoiled for them on social media while they wait for that godawful app to stop buffering.”

“We’ve also asked to rattle off a list of reasons justifying this, while ignoring the fact that family friendly games are also available on Saturdays and Sundays.”

“Clearly the best way to address congestion around sporting events in metro areas is to move everything forward an hour and a half so that people just don’t bother to show up at all.”

“It’s just not a proper season unless we try and introduce something that no one asked for.”

The Sportress reached out to the AFL for comment on their timeslots, and were told that if kids really wanted to be at the footy they could either sit down and shut up or go out the back and kick the footy around and generally get in the way, as is tradition.

When asked what they made of that idea, the NRL responded that they would be including a post-game quiz show titled “Where in the World is Semi Radradra?”

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