BY DAN

I have to admit it. This was a pretty underwhelming week of football. The games that were exciting were between teams that don’t matter (hello Washington and Tampa!) and the games that mattered weren’t exciting as they should have been.

But like every week, there were still things to enjoy.

5 Up

For apparently the first time in NFL history there are five teams that are undefeated after six games. The Patriots kept their streak going by eking out a victory over the moral-victoring Jets. The Panthers beat the Eagles because Sam Bradford cannot throw the ball downfield. I genuinely wonder if he can physically throw the ball more than 30 metres. I’m not judging Sam, because I sure as hell can’t. But then again I’m not a professional athlete. Yet.

The Packers, Broncos and Bengals all had byes because freedom or something.

My controversial position that the Jets are good turned out to be right even after their loss. They even had a chance to go ahead by more than a touchdown when normally reliable Brandon Marshall dropped a relatively straightforward ball in the end zone. They settled for three, and the rest was history.

Da Bears (Are Awful)

Bears fans were also spared from their suckiness by having a bye. No word yet on whether they won the bye.

Instead let’s look at what Bears’ legend Coach Ditka did on Sunday night football.

Tom Brady narrative watch

Current Narrative: Doing it all

Let it be a lesson to everyone. Just because you’re slow, weak and fragile doesn’t mean you can’t lead your team in rushing.                           

People Being Cranky Cos the Pats are Better Than Them

Sure the Jets lost, but check out how decent they are being. What’s with that? Can’t have sportsmen being sporting. Outrageous.

Roger Goodell Performance Rating

Rating: Reaping what he sowed

Below is a video of Greg Hardy going mental at his teammates and coach on Sunday.

Who would’ve thought Hardy was a jerk? If only someone had the power to publicly reprimand his behaviour.

Players I love

Amari Cooper has already featured here. But it’s impossible to not love him. Check out these moves.

The NFC East

Eli Manning and the Giants beat the Cowboys because the Cowboys found amazing ways to lose the game. They through picks. They had meltdowns. They fumbled punts. They even let in a return from a kick off. It was a bad day.

For the Washingtons, heavily criticised (by everyone but his coach) quarterback Kirk Cousins brought the capital’s side back from 24 points down against the Tampa in a faultless display. Possibly considering the criticism he has received recently as unfair he reacted thusly.

Look. If I ever do anything that impressive I will tell you if that reaction was proportional.

5 down

Pop Quiz.

If you’re the backup quarterback who famously slept in the day after you lost the starting job in training camp, the sulked on the sideline after you got taken out of the game in week 4, should you make sure your on time for team flights to games?

If you Ryan Mallet, you probably answered no.

Meanwhile, the Saints won their second game in a row since I put them in the list when they pantsed the awful Colts. The Chiefs won their first game after we put them on this list. Possibly overreacting on our part? Probably. Shut up.

The Jags still suck. And Tennessee were awful – they miss Mariota badly and it’s a bad sign when you miss a rookie. Houston got destroyed – they were down 41-0 at one point – and lost their star running back for the season in the process. Rough day right?

Jarryd Hayne Watch

Jarryd didn’t make the active squad this week because the team basically doesn’t trust him as making the correct decision to pick up blitzes, a key part of any running back’s job. He’ll get another shot though – starting running back Carlos Hyde (who is quite good at football) has a lingering foot issue that will only go away when he’s rested. Watch for Hayne to get more field time as a running back after the 49ers are officially eliminated from playoff contention and they shut down Hyde.

This Week In Songs Tenuously Linked to Football – People Under the Stairs “San Francisco Knights”

GO 49ers!