BY DAN

If you lined up all the Canberra Raiders victories from 2023 alongside each other it would look like a series of ‘spot the difference’ pictures. Sure a dropped ball would be missing here, a fortuitous try there, but the central thrust would be the same. This victory, 22-18 over the Wests Tigers, was in the same vein. Havoc manifest. Destruction of the soul via commotion, profligacy and sheer idiocy. Another win keeps them in a good position for the finals but if they can’t play better than this, what’s the point?

If ever there was a game that a sane team would use to ‘get right’ it would be this one. The Tigers, for all their efforts and actual good parts, are a heavily flawed team incapable of playing eighty minutes of decent footy. Unfortunately the Raiders, for all their efforts and actual good parts, are also a heavily flawed team incapable of playing eighty minutes of decent footy. So instead of a chance to fix, as much as is possible, their points differential, any Milk fan paying attention was terrified of this game.

A decent version of this team would have put 40 on the Tigers (8 line breaks to 1!) but the Raiders were less disciplined than a kid on their first Kon-Tiki tour. At one point they’d completed four of their first twelve sets. Through the first half it was 57 per cent. By the end of the game it was the high 60s, which is an improvement but winning games with that sort of ball control is about as common as Ebola and as fun to watch. Fourteen errors in total, a week after mixing sixteen into their loss against the Knights. It tells you a lot about where the Green Machine and their respective oppositions in each game.

It wasn’t just the volume of errors. Canberra’s ability to commit mistakes at the absolute worst time suggested a side still without clarity of mind. They blew three tries like they were getting paid by the hour. Albert Hopoate dropped the ball in contact at the line (itself the result of a beautiful floating pass from Jordan Rapana chiming in on a sweeping movement). Jack threw a ball over Hopoate’s head instead of to the screaming Hudson Young inside him. Seb Kris did the same, kicking for *someone* instead of either taking the tackle or doing that thing coaches call ‘drawing the defender and then passing to the open man’ (look i’m googling, if I find something useful I’ll send it to the club). I guess you could say Jack created a try when he threw the pass that became Charlie Staines scoring the other way, but it counts as an error just the same. In the end it took a comically fortuitous bounce for Canberra to get on the scoreboard.

Three errors and one poor decision, a combined negative 16 points with kicks to come. But that wasn’t it. They made other mistakes in good ball, such as Zac Woolford being punished by the dummy-half gods for picking the ball up off the ground and allowing that pest John Bateman (I kid I love you John come to Canberra you’ll love it) to get a hand in his passing motion. Matt Timoko had the ball stripped, which was infuriating as the Raiders were going on the attack, but it was less infuriating that Emre Guler being surprised when the Tigers stripped the ball from him with forty seconds to go.

That lead to Jason Vorhees style ‘refusing to die’ ending, in which the Milk forced an error to end the game, gave the ball back courtesy of Emre, scrambled their assess off to hold the Tigers out, nearly got beat by a pin-point cross-field kick, scrambled some more, gave away a penalty instead of ending the game, and then scrambled again to get in the way of yet another multi-pass-panic-play. You know the one, the kind that always works against the Raiders easily distractible defence?

By the time the game ended all that was left was the sheer debilitating exhaustion of a child refusing to do that thing they’re always asked to. It’s so simple. Put the toy in the box. Put the cup in the dishwasher. Catch the fucking ball. Pass left-to-right you handsome but idiotic team of Zoolanders (not ambi-turners after all). It’s a shame because that’s their twelfth win, and while it doesn’t guarantee finals it’s another brick in a wall that I want built, but will also obscure the view of the ugly naked flaws of this team.

It’s also a shame because it also conceals some pretty exciting things we got to see in this game. The Raiders forward pack mostly had a very good day of it. Josh Papalii (10 for 137m 61 post contact), Joe Tapine (18 for 179, 63 post contact and 6 tackle breaks) were both impressive. Corey Horsburgh (109m, 45 tackles, one try saver, one kick cleaned up) was linking and working like the horse he is.

Emre Guler, right up to the moment he nearly lost the club the game and gave away the season (sorry I’ll shut up about that) had his most effective game of the year. Hudson Young was in everything, defending out of position, getting involved in dirty work, fancy work and everything in between.

Even the often understated Pasami Saulo had some exciting moments, seemingly given the green light to use his agility in the line (rather than just burying into it looking for a fast ruck) and looked positively dynamic. He also cleaned up a kick in a characteristic display of effort and desperation (hard working man in rugby league). They were of course supported by a back five that got through a mountain of work (rumours are Albert Hopoate is still offering to take carries right now).

This was of course all orchestrated Zac Woolford’s ongoing quality. He created a try for Young, a well-read crash play sending the bigger man at an isolated Api Koroisau on the line. It was also conducted by the Raiders finally unleashing Adrian Trevilyan. He looked every bit what we’d hoped. His work off the ground was a thing of beauty, a game-changer for a second unit that so often is well, less-well serviced. He engaged markers with such charm that he could have drunk all night from the saps trying to get into his pants. He got so deep into the defensive line he could be nicknamed the black hole for how he made the defence fold in on itself (don’t call him the black hole. It feels wrong). Kris was only in a position to blow a try because of Trevilyan’s wonderful ruck work.

Even after spending the post game a bigger mess of frustrated emotions than a Jordan Peterson fan I am warmed in the depths of my heart by his play. Ladies and gentlemen, we got one. Tom and Danny are depth now. There’s no need to change the line up, Zac and Adrian are our boys now. If Trevilyan’s contract isn’t upgraded from development to top 30 at 12:01AM on 1 November I will be angrier than you are about the logo thing. My god stay healthy Adrian. He’ll have to do it against better teams, but I believe.

Seb Kris too was brilliant in his return to the edge. He looked free, faster than people realise, stronger than they can handle, more skilled than he needs to be. It unlocked that left side attack, adding a threat that someone other than Jack might run through the line. The only thing that makes me sad is Jack is leaving and this nascent relationship doesn’t get to build over the years. That’s Seb’s spot now, at least when his hamstring heals; another question about the Raiders future answered.

More broadly the attack looked more vibrant. Rapana can’t play fullback permanently but he was around the ball as you knew he would be, and looked comfortable ball-playing. He set up Matt Timoko’s try playing as primary ball-player on a skinny-side raid, something a Raider fullback hasn’t done consistently since Wighton moved to the front line. He should have had an earlier try-assist if not for Hopoate’s error. For his part Timoko continues to be an underused weapon, and Fogarty needs another option other than to shift the ball direct to him. Smell only has so much in his legs, but them using him as the fulcrum of a runaround that saw Fogarty tear through the line was a nice variation. Pity it was the only version they had (and didn’t work when they used it again minutes later).

And despite the fact that the Raiders just held on, it’s heartening to see them do that again. Kris got injured and Smelly, and then Nic Cotric, had HIAs at terribly timed moments. Jack was defending at left centre, Huddo at three and Corey Horsburgh back on the edge. On the other Zac Woolford and Jamal Fogarty were defending inside Matt Timoko at one point. A good side would have torn these edges apart but in this moment the Milk held on. They didn’t thrive, and barely threw a punch in attack. But they scrambled and clambered and clawed in defence, refusing to give up that which they deserved but barely earned. Their defence was the perfection of their bend-but-don’t break method that I wish they hadn’t perfected over the last few years. Now I’m glad they have.

It’s not absolution, merely a team that creates and cleans up it’s own messes. The student and the janitor. Mother and child. They are alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life’s problems. They break our hearts and bring light to our darkest nights that we curse them for coming and curse them for going (sorry Amir Suleiman). They are not good but variance personified. Courage and idiocy at the same time, the spirit of youth in grown men.

They can turn this around, much in the same way that I could go for a run after writing this. God knows every good season we’ve had recently has been punctuated by a moment at South Canberra stadium. But we both know i’m pouring a victory whisky and listening to Mac Miller. This is what it looks like right before you fall. This team is who they were in June. In July. They’ll be that team next week in all likelihood. It’s pretty amazing it’s gone this far. Can they beat good teams? Sure why not. They can beat anyone in the competition save the ‘Riff. They can also lose to anyone, by any amount, for any reason.

Deep breathes everyone. This isn’t over. This tornado is still turning and the light is still shining through. Hang on and ride the bumps with the same maniacal grin this team has. It’s the only way it makes sense.

Do me a favour and like the page on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or share this on social media because nowadays all I do is shine. Don’t hesitate to send us feedback (dan@sportress.org) or comment below if you think we are stupid. Or if we’re not.