BY ROB, DAN AND BEN

Breaking: The National Rugby League has scheduled Ben “six again” Cummins’ first time presiding over the Raiders since the grand final as far away as possible.

The Raiders play the Cowboys in Townsville this weekend, roughly 1,972 kilometres from the scene of Cummins’ 2019 ‘crime’, and well over 2,000 kilometres from the many thousands of people that would like to have a quiet word with him. This is

“Look it was always going to be an emotional game for everyone, and we just thought Ben could do with a bit of a buffer”, referees boss Graham Annesley told The Sportress. “So we put the game as far away as possible from Canberra while adhering to the COVID-19 travel restrictions.

“We also looked at the situation and thought ‘is there anything we can do to stop the dumb jokes over the next week?’ If you clowns are anything to go by we’ve already failed.”

The Sportress approached Coach Stuart for comment but he just muttered “six again, i’ll give you six again”.