BREAKING: A spokeself for the North Pole has confirmed to The Sportress that they are hoping to snare star Raider Sia Soliola to take over from Santa in the coming years.
It has been long rumoured that the bearded wonder was looking at moving on from the physically taxing, but spiritually rewarding role of representing Christmas spirit and goodwill to humankind. This has now been confirmed exclusively to The Sportress.
“Santa isn’t a spring chicken anymore. Time was his box jump was so good he could often get back up a chimney in a single leap. These days we’re having to use drones and other tech more and more”, the spokeself told us.
“Sia is a logical replacement when Santa moves on. He combines the necessary physical prowess with an unending spirit of goodwill.”
“We also think he could Billy Slater the naughty kids of you know what I mean.”
“Negotiations are ongoing, and obviously Sia has some unfinished business in Canberra, but we’re hopeful that we can finalise this deal for the next phase of his career.”
We approached Sia for comment but he was too busy helping the needy.
IF SIA WAS OUR SANTA I WOULD BELIEVE AGAI