Raiders Named Offical Bandwagon Team

BY DAN

BREAKING: The National Rugby League’s annual process of identifying a team fans of the “also-rans” can get behind has been completed with the Canberra Raiders being named the offical bandwagon team of the 2019 premiership.

“We’ve gone through and crunched all the numbers and it’s clear the Raiders were the natural selection this year” as spokesperson said.

“The prime contenders for the title – the Storm and the Roosters – are about as loveable as traffic. The other members of the finals – particularly the Broncos and Manly – tested less positively than Buzz Rothfield in our focus groups.

“And frankly, the Raiders always add a bit of spice to the footy, even when they don’t mean to.”

The NRL was unable to publicly reveal all the work that went into its decision but it’s believed several other factors gave the Raiders the edge over all over rivals included:

  • the fact the Raiders‘ English contingent are hilariously unintelligible
  • Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad and Jarrod Croker might be the nicest dudes in football, and
  • Josh Hodgson plays the kind of football that makes grown men reminisce about the good old days.

It’s believed the committee were also swayed by seeing the sun rise over Lake Burley Griffin on a clear Canberra morning.

The position is ceremonial but does include a range of benefits like nice things being said on twitter and old mates at the pub talking about Dean Lance and Chicka Ferguson.

More to come.


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