BY BOZZA

Not content with the ‘small compensation’ of the permanent relocation of the AFL Grand Final and a Super Bowl demanded on their behalf by Premier Mark McGowan, Western Australians have begun insisting that the rest of Australia coughs up more to make up for perceived GST inequities. While most other Australian’s eyes cloud over when the subject of Australia’s complex tax system is raised, it seems that our brothers and sisters in the west are not only more interested in where there GST dollars are distributed, they are hopping mad about it.

“We are hopping mad about it,” says Mark from Mandurah. Rather than just sit back and take it, Mark and those like him feel Perth’s magnificent new Optus Stadium is the perfect opportunity for their state to get payback. “We aren’t going to take it anymore,” Mark said. “Now with Optus Stadium open, it is time for those East Coast latte sipppers to pay us back.”

When asked in what shape this payback would take Mark quickly rattled off a grocery list of events that should move to the other side of the continent. “AFL and NRL Grand Finals obviously,” the Manduran suggested before being interrupted by his friend Chris from Northbridge.

“That is small compensation,” Chris said, clearly having taken his lead from the Premier “they can give us more than that.” Without taking a breath he then suggested that the Australian Open, Sydney to Hobart and Melbourne Cup would all be better placed at the new stadium in Burswood. “They should also pony up the Sydney Opera House and Bondi Beach too,” he then suggested before concern crossed his brow. “You don’t think this is too much to ask?”

“Not at all,” I responded. I didn’t have the nerve to suggest that asking for Bondi Beach was just as likely to be fulfilled as asking for the AFL Grand Final.