So, are you coming back? It was a question that had been put to me many times in the last couple of weeks. As I mopped the floor of the urinal in the club-rooms, it was becoming increasingly difficult to consider the question in the positive. The filth that stained the floor a dark yellow … More Adventures in American Football: The Finale
We are only as strong as our weakest link When I decided to play American Football, it was the first time in my life that I was making myself the worst player on a sporting team. Without wishing to overstate the matter, I’ve always been useful at sport. An understanding of where and when to … More Adventures in American Football: The Weakest Link
Remember why you’re here! To reflect on the ‘why’ of existence is a profoundly human endeavour. Personally I try to avoid it. Too much thinking usually results in drinking until you can’t feel feelings. This is normal. This is how regular human beings, raised in nice suburbs with successful friends behave. The question of ‘why’ I … More Adventures in American Football: the (almost) tackle
You’ve got to keep your head on a swivel. Let’s not sugar coat things. This is a violent game. Each week, the Australians who enjoy playing American Football inflict all levels of pain on each other. They scrap, they scrape and they drag through hurt in order to win a competition for which they will … More Adventures in American Football: Week 4
You’ve been given an opportunity, now go out there and hurt someone. As someone who considers himself to be a relatively intelligent, mostly functional human being, it’s always weird when someone treats you like the kind of person who really, really likes inflicting pain on others. It’s even weirder when this is advice is used … More Adventures in American Football: Week Three
You need to find your inner cunt. If ever there was a moment that encapsulated that tension that occurs when you put an American sport in suburban Australia, this was it. American Football is imbued with an awe-inspiring array of conventions and peccadillos. But here in Australia, its local participants spend so much time squeezing … More Adventures in American Football: Week 2
Do you like to hit or be hit? It was a serious question. What kind of idiot decides to take up a new sport at 32? One they’ve never played before. One that can result in serious bodily damage. One that’s (relatively) expensive to play, that requires intricate understanding of foot movement, of body positioning, … More Adventures in American Football: Week 1
