BY TIM

CANBERRA – The National Hype Measurement Institute was sent into disarray yesterday, when a previously unknown phenomenon appeared on sensors.

“Yesterday, Tuesday 25th of July, at around 9am, while measuring hype levels for the Matildas, our highly sophisticated sensors picked up a strange reading at high altitude, moving south east from the Indian Ocean.” said Brett Offin, Director of the NHMI.

“Upon this discovery, we contacted the Royal Australian Air Force to see if they could assist us with sample collection.”

“These samples were taken to our secret facility in Broome, where the phenomenon was found to contain vast amounts of Sodium.”

While not being entirely sure where this phenomenon has come from there were other surprising results in the lab tests.

“Apart from the sodium, there were also trace elements of tea, crumpets and what appears to be warm beer.”

The NHMI expects this event to make landfall sometime in the next week and advises that all pets should be kept inside, cars hosed down daily to avoid rust and that we can all avoid extra salt at Mecca’s.

We did contact the Air Marshal of the RAAF’s office with concerns that this might be a national security threat and were told to “f*** off” and “refrain from calling this number again”. When we decode this, we shall let our readers know what this means.

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