BY DAN

The NRL has made a clear and definitive statement saying “anyone who goes off to play union for money will not be allowed back into the league” a spokesperson told The Sportress.

“Unless it’s Sonny Bill Williams.”

The NRL has taken the strong stance in an attempt to ward off Jordan Rapana’s summer foray into union becoming the norm.

“We are being unambiguous. The NRL must take a strong stance about players hokey-pokeying in and out of the game. It could have a real impact on the integrity of the game if players can earn money from third parties outside the cap that supplements their income.”

“Unless Sonny Bill is looking for a game. Or Benji. Or Jarryd Hayne. Or Val Holmes when he comes back. Preferably for the Roosters.”

“It’s important we keep talented players in the league. Or out of the league. Which is it again? You know, don’t print that bit.”

The Sportress approached Ricky Stuart for comment but he was crying and singing “End Of The Road.”