BY DAN

The only thing worse than heartbreak is this. Hell.

That wasn’t a usual finals loss. That was fate teasing a dying man with promises of an afterlife. That was Hades letting Orpheus get all the way to the gates before ripping Persephone from his heart. They won that game more times than they lost it, but only one of those remains on the scoreboard.

Canberra lost because they couldn’t overcome the position they put themselves in, no matter how well they played. Too many handling errors, too many poor decisions, too much exhaustion as a result. They tried to outrun the demons and nearly succeeded. Their success was built in the ways we all know. The middle were dominant for so long, until they weren’t. The young backs proved they were un-awed by the situation at hand, until they were rendered obsolete by a game plan that tightened as the contest wore on. They played electrically, excitingly, brilliant and smart, taking the opportunities at hand until they simply forgot how to do anything right.

But the result should not undermine the quality that they hold. This is still a game plan that can win. For so long the middle was utterly dominant on both sides of the ball. Joe Tapine (144m, 47 tackles) led from the front as per usual. Josh Papalii was remarkable with only one ankle. Corey Horsburgh somehow maintained his energy into his second stint. Morgan Smithies was more effective through contact than almost any player of the field. Of the backs Matt Timoko was immense, taking every hard carry throughout the game – the fact he ended with only 116m is proof that stats are for nerds and losers.

Combined with an impressive line speed for so much of the game it was a platform they could build behind. They played smart football in attacking the Broncos defence. Two tries came in effectively the same way; kicking in behind the Brisbane edges given frankly remarkable leeway by Ash Klein. Hudson Young landed on one, and Seb Kris landed on the other (sent forwards by Huddo).

At other times they attacked the space around the ruck so effectively. Tommy Starling had a half-break on the second play of the game, had another massive break in the second half. Kaeo Weekes scored a try by stopping, propping, and darting through ruck defenders that were just lazy enough to be punished. And when they did occasionally get to their left edge in space, Ethan Strange was brilliant and brutal. Given more opportunity he could have done a lot more.

But that’s the lesson of this game. Strange scored with 25 minutes and the Raiders never scored again. Fogarty missed the conversion, Tamale dropped the kick off and the team shrank when they needed to be brave. They spent too long defending afterwards, and too much of their limited time with the ball playing it safe, trying to ‘hard work’ their way back into a game that was being stolen by lightning. It nearly worked. Maybe it did. But it also didn’t, in the only way that matters.

Canberra were cooked, and in a rare display this season looked the less energetic team in the last quarter of the game. That problem was built in a multitude of ways. They dropped too much ball. Four sets in the first 20 minutes ended with handling errors, wasting good opportunities in the red zone. 17 errors were made for the match, which is way too many. When you add to that the frankly stunning twin 40-20s that Reece Walsh pulled off, both at critical times, the three additional sets from well-placed kicks, the extra tackles given away by the Raiders multiple kicks that went dead, it created an imbalance of possession that wore at them throughout the game.

Then that combined with the Broncos game plan to further torture Canberra down the stretch. Brisbane spent the whole game trying to make Jamal Fogarty make as many tackles as possible, both in yardage and in attacking sets. His 30 odd tackles is a lot for a half, but when you add the fact that Zac Hosking made 55 and Matt Timoko another 15 (a lot for a centre, and given he missed 9 it shows the rhythm), and you could see the Broncos plan was to tire him out in yardage, make him work laterally in space.

When the Raiders middle defence had the energy to cut down the Broncos ability to shift this was fine. But as the errors and extra sets took their toll it isolated Fogarty, Matt Timoko and Jed Stuart, and boy did they not succeed. Three tries in ten minutes turned a match winning position into hell in a handbasket.

On two I thought Stuart got in bad positions, one where he hung in when he wasn’t needed and was beaten outside, the other when he was caught between two players and took neither option. On another Walsh simply sliced a hole outside Fogarty. The Raiders’ half wasn’t quick enough, and Timoko turned his back too early. It’s been a problem all year. Sometimes it’s the things you least expect. Sometimes it’s the sore that has been leaking pus all year.

This exhaustion borne from being the focal point of the attack perhaps hurt Fogarty’s game management down the stretch. Fatigue will do funny things to a man. The man is the fulcrum for all of Canberra’s decisions that it’s understandable that he will get excoriated for what happened. The Raiders went too far into their shell, too reliant on hoping and waiting. Unwilling to try and grab the game by the cajones. Ethan Strange had to watch the last twenty minutes of the game, wondering who he offended so much that the ball never came in his direction.

A great example is that Fogarty never threw up a belly-bomb in that period. I’m not saying try it every time, but Coach Stuart has been clear about the Canberra players playing to their strengths. But Fogarty wanted to patient a victory. Maybe the option was to take it. That’s what Brisbane did. He also missed multiple makeable field goals down the stretch.

There were so many other moments though. Zac Hosking will never attack another field goal again, and maybe that’s why Joe Tapine only pushed *so far* at Ben Hunt on the game winning shot. Owen Pattie pushing left when two passes right would have been a field goal for the game. The list is so long that you boy, two whiskeys deep at the Canberra Airport simply can’t remember them all. It was painful to watch.

And yet Canberra did enough, only to have a post-game penalty take it away. Then again, when they scored late and had it taken by the video ref. I won’t pretend to play ‘refs fault’ here. I was sitting in the corner that Jed supposedly knocked the ball on. I had a view. Those decisions are right or wrong, but no one is too blame for them. They had to take a view.

But what is unforgiveable is the ‘equity’ principle’s application in the Reece Walsh headbutt. There’s not a world in which that is not a send off. There is not a world in which a player being ‘near’ another in a sin-binnable offence. Ash Klein got that wrong and that needs to be remembered. In a just world it would haunt him forever like this game will haunt the Raiders. In a just world Reece Walsh would have played his last game this season. Only a fool thinks he’ll miss the preliminary final. They’ll call it grade one striking, give him a $1500 fine and a cup of tea and call it a win for rugby league. We should all be ashamed.

They’ll also call it a classic, rightly. Two big bad teams swinging haymakers at each other until they were a puffing puddle of sweat. Each punch thudding into flesh, rippling the muscles and shaking the bones beneath it. They’ll say the Raiders choked, and maybe they’re right. But how do you reconcile that with them winning the game twice? They’ll say there’s lessons, but there’s as likely to be ghosts that haunt Bruce Stadium for decades to come. All that matters is how you come back from it. If Canberra find a way to heaven they’ll call it necessary. I do not wish this feeling on my enemy.

I am so sad. It’s hours after the game and I’m still numb. A shell of a man avoiding conversations with anyone, staring into space. Empty in a way I haven’t been since standing at the platform at Homebush in 2019. Pleading to wake up from this nightmare. Winning a game twice only to have it ripped away? Being in the spot to take a field goal attempt with mere seconds to go only to chase the waterfall instead of the plan? How could a man try to find a way back? I am not fired up. I am not resilient. I am not capable of turning this around.

But there are 17 men who are. A coach who likes nothing more than having his back to the wall. If they can muster the courage, if they can find the energy sapped so cruelly from them by 95 odd minutes of football, if they can look deep inside and know they are a good enough, great enough, brave enough, daring enough, to keep believing when the whole competition will be quietly writing them off over the next few days, well, there is still music and excellent voice in this little organ. They can still make it sing.

I must believe so that they do. So they know. I must scream again because they need to know that whatever resilience I can muster in my soul to go out into the big bad world was bequeathed by them. By one good play. By Matty Nicholson and Kaeo Weekes at magic round. By the miracle of Mudgee. So keep your chins up and your hearts full Canberra. There is still a roaring heart in this team. They’ve got a week to find it.

Do me a favour and like the page on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or share this on social media because love is true and heaven is a Raiders victory. Don’t hesitate to send us feedback (dan@sportress.org) or comment below if you think we are stupid. Or if we’re not.