BY DAN

Burn the tapes. Torch the moon. Nothing’s pure. The tears run to the floor.

The 23rd of March 2025 against the Manly Sea-Eagles is a game that never happened. Whatever occurred was instead the worst case scenario for any team. Canberra almost never had the ball. There are a myriad of reasons for that. They were valiant for a while, but eventually the dam broke and the destruction was vast. There is nothing to learn from this game other than the vulnerability of all good things. We can rebuild.

Canberra came into this game riding a high based off spirited defence and energetic attack. The game plan was slightly adjusted in this game, when they tried to become the first rugby league team to win a game without touching the ball. Their opposition had 64 per cent of possession for the game, 77 per cent in the first half. Those are large numbers for ten minute periods. This was an entire event. By the time the oranges were being eaten it was 30 blot and for the first time in Sportress history I started writing the review at half time. By the end of the game they could have been forgiven for wanting to cry.

The reasons they didn’t have the ball were various. Let’s start with what most will focus on – the referee. Yes Grant Atkins was a big reason the Raiders didn’t have the ball but that wasn’t unfair. Canberra are a team that pushes the envelope. Atkins decided to call a ‘tight’ game. They got busted a few times where it was arguable, and because they didn’t have the ball things snowballed. There was one egregious error – the Raiders no try was frankly bizarre – but that was not Atkins’ decision. In truth the Milk needed to adjust, and didn’t. And when Corey Horsburgh got sent to the bin, a correct decision that only surprised us because we’re not used to referees making correct decisions, they paid the price for the fatigue put into their bodies before that moment.

There were more costly reasons they didn’t have the ball. Kaeo Weekes had a nightmare homecoming that would have been better suited to a slasher flick than a professional sporting event. Two dropped bombs directly became two Manly tries. A further dropped bomb led to another. Savelio Tamale dropped a bomb too, but it didn’t result in points and it feels pedantic to point that out after what happened to Weekes. These weren’t the only issues. Weekes also put a kick-off dead. Xavier Savage dropped a ball in yardage the Raiders desperately needed to hold. Horsburgh tried an offload that went to the other side. A short drop out was put out. They all created extra ball for the Sea-Eagles that seemed borderline unfair. Twelves errors will always hurt but every one of these was a dagger.

The defensive ask wore Canberra down. They were impressive and robust through the first twenty odd minutes of the game. This was despite a wealth of possession so great Jeff Bezos was eyeing it off. It took 32 tackles in the red zone before Manly scored, right after Corey Horsburgh went to the bin. By the time he came back in the 32nd minute the score was 24-0 and the game was effectively over. The dam had broken. Even then the only time they touched the ball before halftime was when Big Red tapped a grubber dead.

It wasn’t so much that they weren’t trying, but they were just cooked by the imbalance. Motor skills normally executed simply weren’t. Fogarty could have cleaned up a bomb that Weekes dropped. Morgan Smithies and Hudson Young could have stopped Jake Simpkins but didn’t. When Daly Cherry-Evans grubbered behind the line early in the second half for Reuben Garrick’s third try, the entire left side of the defence turned around in resignation that they just didn’t have the gas to get to it. Seb Kris was cooked one-on-one by Garrick too – that can happen. But it was more that all these things happened in the one game. A lot of them in a twenty minute period.

If there is a silver speckle in this pile of shit it’s that it wasn’t their plans or structures that failed. Rather it was the extreme circumstances of their predicament that led to the collapse. Their defence was downright inspiring for near half an hour. Even when Manly were scoring points for fun many of these came from kick errors, or sheer weight of numbers caused by Horsburgh watching on. Only Haumole Olakau’atu seemed to be unstoppable, but it’s hard not think a better job would have done if they weren’t already so broken.

By the end of the game Manly had more sets in the red zone than the Raiders had sets (I just made that up but it feels right). Canberra kept turning Manly away in those sets, even deep into the second half when by all rights they should have given up. Matt Timoko held up Lehi Hopoate with seven minutes to go. Tamale made the effort to bring down Ben Trbojevic on a chip-kick-break with three to go. They were keeping it respectable and showing us, and themselves, there was no fake in the previous two games.

The pace of attack wasn’t there. That wasn’t just the possession. It also wasn’t there before things got away from them. Manly came with energy and Canberra were playing patient, willing to lean on their defence while the opposition spent their energy. The game plan was fine until it wasn’t. But even fatigued they still showed an enterprising and sustainable attack, all shown in the three tries they created (only two paid but let’s be real). There’s plenty of good there. They had three line breaks to Manly’s five. They had 24 tackle breaks. Doing all that with only a third of the ball suggests there’s something to build on.

So it’s not a matter of throwing the season away. I am oddly heartened by the sustainability of what we achieved in the circumstances. That is the hardest the game will ever be for Canberra. Maybe for any team ever. 30-0 and 77 per cent of the ball only became 40-12. Winning the second half is a loser cliche, but that they were still standing at the end of it reflects a structural integrity to the defence, and a weight of character only matched by the disparate possession.

Canberra had shown their quality in previous weeks and it wasn’t disproved by this debacle. The key is to make this the outlier it looks like. That means turning up to North Queensland with the same character they showed in this game, but with better execution and a more helpful whistle. That’s not a set thing – Townsville has hardly been a happy hunting ground in recent times, and the Cows were better this round than the tyre-fire they were the first two weeks. But they have the tools to make it work, and if Canberra leave the first month of the competition with only this mess on their conscience then it’s been the right start.

There is nothing but blood on the jersey and teeth on the ground right now. Ribs, if still attached, are doing damage more to the lungs than anything else. This is pain right now. But Canberra have proven they can fight, and they have fight in them. That is the only thing we should remember about this game. All they can do is dust themselves off and get ready for the next round.

But, still….burn the tapes.

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