BY DAN

2024 was a lot. For a lot of us. A lot of the time. Football. The World. Existence is futile and me and you are just attacking the winds of fortune with a sack of dreams on our back and a big stick in our hand. Sometimes it can overwhelm, leading us to do things that we shouldn’t. Or forget to do things we should.

I, of course, am not invulnerable to this. I am flawed. Forgive me Mal for I have sinned. My crime? It’s been the best part of 18 months since I’ve updated my favourite dumb gimmick of this site: the Tevita Pangai All Stars. I even let 2024 lapse in its entirety.

This is our sixth annual edition. We’ll count it as 2024, and if this blog survives the year we’ll make sure we give you a 2025 version at the end of the year. You can read the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth editions if you want, but really what you need to know is this. The idea is basically that Ricky Stuart is John West with the fish choosing (It’s a 90s TV ad kids, I’m sorry. it’s burned in my brain because I never understood what the hell was going on. Canadians man, who knew).

For those new to the concept, it was borne out of Stick pushing Tevita Pangai Junior out of the club. At the time it was rumoured that he had told Tevita he’d never be a first grader due to his haphazard approach to training. The first edition coincided with Tevita having arguably the only consistent period of his entire career, tearing up the league in late 2018. We pulled together a roster of players that Stick had moved on, looked at it went ‘hey that’s a pretty good team’, maybe Sticky doesn’t know what he’s doing?

Over the years we’ve revisited the concept. We’ve never really settled on rules other than they played for the Raiders during Sticky’s regime, and left to play elsewhere. My preference is to include players still playing footy, either here or in the Super League, but i’m not precious. It’s really just an excuse to talk about players I love or loved.

So let’s get started.

Fullback: Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad

This one is slightly unfair. It wasn’t Stick’s choice. From all we can tell he wanted Charnze to stay. And it’s been better for the Kiwi that he left. He’s been brilliant in New Zealand which has just made this depressing. That Xavier Savage was elevated in his place and no longer plays the position speaks to the value of Charnze’s in the hand.

Canberra now have a whole new generation of fullbacks to deliver. But none will ever do it with the courage of Charnze. I will love him forever.

Previous winners: Charnze (2023), Anthony Milford (2018, 2020, 2021, 2022)

Wingers: Rapa and Nic Cotric

I thought about whether we include our departing Super League stars and ultimately decided to. One because it means it makes the team look way sicker (in an early 2000s slang sense, not in a early 2020s sense), but also because I just want another opportunity to say goodbye them.

Jordan Rapana is everything that is, was, and has been, good about the Canberra Raiders. He is success without ego. He courage without trepidation. He is love, community, and the strength of the collective manifest in one man. Hull doesn’t deserve him, not because they’re not good enough, but because none of us are.

Nic Cotric should be remembered for what he gave us over 2017 through 2021, rather than the last few years where he was flitting between the grades. He was such an astounding performer at the beginning of his career. Remember when he’d just routinely trample fools, and even score tries from absolutely nothing? It’s been a while. I wish him well overseas.

It’s also weird because here we have our first ‘return’ winners. Fun!

Previous winners: Bailey Simonsson (2022, 2023), Edrick Lee (2018, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023), Nic Cotric (2021), Jordan Rapana (2020).

Centres: James Schiller and Bailey Simonsson

Jimmy Thrills leaving is risky. It’s risky because each time he plays he looks like he has an unbelievable upside, particularly when he’s got that ball in his hands. He can score from anywhere, like the 1000 single-person length-of-the-field tries he scored in Cup footy last year (Or the try against the Storm. You know the one). He is both powerful and fast. Sure his defence was probably his weakness but that was more experience than skill. If he’s good it’ll bite (not in the least because Mike from the Green Machine Podcast will let us know about it).

Bailey is pretty good. It’s just a pity his shoulders are not. I never thought he’d make it as a centre, but kudos to Brad Arthur’s coaching unit for turning that around. I’m keen to see if Jason Ryles will be as convinced.

Previous winners: BJ Leilua (2020, 2021, 2022, 2023), BRENKO (2020, 2021, 2022, 2023), Rufio Jeremy Hawkins (2018)

Five eighth: Aidan Sezer

Was it the right time to leave Sezer’s palace? I hate to admit it but it probably wasn’t the worst time. Aidan struggled through injury plagued years in the Super League, and a few chaos-laden years at the Tigers. And now he’s just hanging out with Nic Cotric in Eastern Europe, which looks like heaps of fun. But I don’t think they’re visiting many museums.

Previous winners: Aidan Sezer (2022, 2023) Blake Austin (2020, 2021), Lachlan Lewis (2018)

Halfback: George Williams

Aidan leaving before I was ready would have hurt less if George Williams didn’t scuttle back home after a season and a bit. I get the homesickness. I get the ‘rona man (it was a whole thing remember?). I get the “work in progress” stuff with Hodgo. But we only got to see a glimpse. He could have been so much more in the NRL.

Previous winners: George Williams (2022, 2023) Aidan Sezer (2020, 2021), Mitch Cornish (2018)

Lock: Adam Elliott

Imagine doing the work to rehabilitate a guys image, and then watching him, and his partner who you always wanted to sign to leave at the first opportunity. Gutting. It’s an underrated story of Raiders rejection. Forget Leo Thompson, Adam Elliott was already critical for the Milk, providing ball play through the middle that offset a lack thereof from the incumbent rakes. Then he signed a career deal with the Knights and crushed our souls.

Previous winners: Adam Elliott (2023), Shaun Fensom (2018, 2020), Mitch Barnett (2021, 2022)

Backrow: Elliott Whitehead and John Bateman

Remember when John Bateman’s attitude was fun? Remember when he threatened to throw the ball at the Titans and we were hooting and hollering like a cartoon wolf seeing an attractive lady (now that’s an old reference). He’s forced his way out of three clubs since the 2019 grand final. I think we got the best of him.

Smell. I’ll miss you. I hope France is treating you well.

Previous winners: Tevita Pangai Jr (2018, 2020, 2021, 2022), Mitch Barnett (2018, 2020), John Bateman (2021, 2022, 2023)

Props: Mitch Barnett and Leo Thompson

Goddammit.

At least Mitch Barnett was effectively a swap for Joey Taps. Barnett has been great since he left the club in stints for Newcastle and New Zealand. He even got himself a Blues jersey.

Leo Thompson became the hottest thing on the market this offseason. You know how that turned out. People will wonder how he got on the free agent market in the first place. Not from Newcastle, but why the Raiders let him go to start off with. That’s revisionist history. It would have taken a brave person to predict what was coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see him thrive.

Previous winners: Paul Vaughan (2018, 2020, 2021), Shannon Boyd (2018, 2020), Junior Paulo (2021, 2022, 2023), Dumamis Lui (2022), Ryan Sutton (2023).

Hooker: Lachie Croker

I call this a good news story.

There was a time Croker was Croker was trying to push his way into the Raiders first grade side. His shoulder wasn’t cooperating. In the end the club decided it was too much risk (something they’ve done before and since). For a lot of players that would be the end of that. But Croker rebuilt himself, a half decade long journey from prospective half to every-round hooker. It’s downright impressive, and when you add to that a shonky shoulder that came good, you can only be impressed. Another boy from Goulburn made good.

And boy could we use him.

(Writing about how good Lachie going is only hear to give me a reason to not write 1000 words about how much I still love Josh Hodgson. BRING HIM HOME RICKY WE NEED HIM. HE CAN STILL DO IT).

Previous winners: Josh Hodgson (2023) Siliva Havili (2022), Kurt Baptise (2018, 2020, 2021)

Bench: Saliva Havili, Junior Paulo, Zac Woolford and Tevita Pangai Junior.

Saliva Havili: If Tom Starling goes it only seems fair that Saliva Havili comes home. It was in Canberra he made his name, it was here that he should have remained. How good would it be to have him at 14 in combo with Owen Pattie?

Junior Paulo: It feels like such a fever dream that he played for the Milk. He wasn’t quite ‘Junior Paulo’ yet, but he was still really good. A sneaky sojourn in Canberra should have been longer.

Zac Woolford: I know we already have too many hookers in this side, but ‘Liva is good for middle minutes. I’m still sad Zac didn’t get more of a shot. Sometimes people value how things look over how things are. Woolford may never be a star, but he fit with this team perfectly.

Tevita Pangai Junior: No one is more Tevita Pangai than the man himself. He’s sucked hard since we started this whole plan, has retired, boxed, and generally been a mess. Turns out Stick was right about that one. And really, we couldn’t make this team if we didn’t include him.

Previous winners: Scott Sorensen (2018), Mark Nicholls (2018, 2020, 2021, 2023), Junior Paulo (2018), Dave Taylor (2018, 2020), Liam Knight (2020, 2021, 2023), Michael Oldfield (2021), Sia Solioa (2022), Ryan James (2022), Saliva Havili (2023) and Mitch Barnett (2023).

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