BY DAN
While this hasn’t been a quiet start to the year (hello Zac Hosking!), this time of the year is always a bit slow. People trudge into work each week, remarking how much they didn’t want to come back. For those of us that worked through we are understanding, but our exhausted faces can bare no sympathy. I was tired before. Now I’m tired and annoyed. I could use some inspiration. Something to look forward to. Someone help me.
As the trials approach and we all get even hungrier for footy and footy news, how about a mailbag? Kathy S
And then a hero comes along. Thank you Kathy. You did not have to ask twice. We love that people want our vibes on things, and given you click on our ill-formed and poorly typed thoughts it’s only fair we turn the page over to your questions occasionally.
So without further delay let’s do this.
Should Jarrod have misplaced his head gear before his 300th game to get more media coverage of said game? T-Mac (@NoShins81)
Right off the middle of the bat. T-Mac opens the mailbag with the kind of cracking shot that would make Davey himself proud.
I know it’s chic to suggest Warner was on some PR shit when his baggy green disappeared. When it comes to moments like this I tend towards Occams Razor – basically the simplest explanation is the best. Davey boy is a lot of things but media mastermind is not one of them. Just wait til you hear him on commentary in a few weeks. More likely he lost it in the same way I lose my glasses (almost permanently attached to my face).
Our man Jarrod though, he could never do something so mischievous. He’s more Galahad than Loki right? Too pure for this world.
Interested to get your thoughts on wing pairing ideas, there’s so many options and ideas on how that could play out. Rory P
Rory my guy I’m like 80 per cent this is going to be chalk in round 1. Rapa and Nic may not fill you with the excitement they once did but they do exactly what Stick wants his wingers to do: yardage, catch bombs (mostly – Nic has occasional moments) and finish moves (on the off chance the ball actually makes it to them). Having said that….
If you wanted to pitch me Savage playing wing in the long term I wouldn’t hate it. It lets him do the thing he’s elite at – run real fast – and limit the things he doesn’t do well. It gives him a clear path to the top line and doesn’t continously dent his confidence by yo-yo-ing all over the shop.
Beyond that, Albert Hopoate will push for the opposite reason. He’s a grinder, quicker than people realise but definitely a power player. I think his confidence was shot at the end of last season. What had got him into the squad disappeared like Thanos had snapped his fingers.
What’s a realistic “pass mark” for 2024 considering our turnover? Are we still a finals chance or should we settle for a mid-table finish? Andrew P
Should I book a hotel for the Grand Final, or should I book a Pacific holiday? Tim D
The fun thing about this season is that range. There’s no certainty, and where there’s no certainty your heart is free to roam. It becomes a bit of a test of perspective. If it’s raining do you mutter and mope? Or the person in the break room who says “at least the farmers will be happy” right before I start fantasising about throwing my coffee in their face.
I want to believe in this side. I’m hoping that – as we wrote here – they can turn the Jack Wighton departure as addition by subtraction. I hope the young talent can come through a bit quicker. And I’m holding on to Sticky breaking the habit of a lifetime the last few years and having faith in some of the players that deserve it. But I’m hoping. So Tim, don’t book grand final tickets.
My inclination the Raiders will finish just outside the finals. Is that a pass? I actually think that’s not really how you measure success this year. That’s more on whether it sets the club up for success in future years. Do they get minutes into young players? Do they provide them with clear roles and structures in which to succeed? Do they make sure Ethan Sanders doesn’t get cold feet? Empires are built and crumble in moments that seem obvious, but only in hindsight.
So to answer your question is give me five months, I’m having a think.
How many more David Fifita articles can we expect in 2024? @GreenMachinePod
Haha…wait…Have you heard something?
Given Ricky Stuart’s reputed love of smokescreens, and given the Milk’s dire need for a second rower, and given the Milk’s abundance of top-line props, do you think it’s time for the ultimate smokescreen: Papa back to the right edge where it all started? Harry S (@MondayStory).
Papa just did a Dad sigh just thinking about that. Poor guy just wants a break and you’re making him play more minutes? Harry! Don’t stress him into leaving town. He’s probably still grumpy at working off the Christmas kegs.
Feasibility aside I want people to remember what a gift Papa was on the edge. He hunted dudes, and for a player his size was inexplicably agile. He’s brought that to the middle too, and probably is too old to go back, but jesus. What a weapon.
How many times will Blocker say “gee I think the Raiders will live to regret letting Clay Webb go” this year? Danny A (@AndoDanny)
More importantly is Clay Webb on the Luke Page All-Stars, or is Luke Page on the Clay Webb All-Stars? Darcy Medlyn is captain of both teams FYI. Also Jarrett Subloo for some reason.
What will be the composition of the Canberra Raiders spine in Magic Round 2024? Mitch N (@mitchnicholls)
See I like this because it doesn’t get caught up in round 1. Round 1 is for suckers and lazy journalists looking to get some cranky clicks in January. Magic Round is where dreams are made (by Zac Woolford) and broken (by referees that year they sent everyone off cos Vlando was on some vibes).
As I said here I think Chevy Stewart ends the season at fullback, but I reckon that will be after the second bye. Do I believe the ‘Seb Kris for fullback’ stuff again? At the moment i’m leaning towards ‘Ricky Stuart is bad at communicating and instead prefers to motivate via the media’. So I’m leaning X is frontrunner, and will be there until it’s clear Stewart is ready. I think Weekes is six and I’ve got this vibe he won’t let go. Fogs at 7, and god help me, Zac at 9.
Which team is most likely to be the next to win a premiership / title: Knicks, Pats, Raiders, Essendon? Jeremy S
You may not know this about me but I am a Knicks fan. Not quite insane enough to blog about them incessantly (although if you go waaaaay back in the archives you’ll find some insane gear), but apart from the Raiders I watch more of them than other sports team (except maybe cricket). They haven’t won since 1973, for the first time in ages they’re good man. Sustainably good. Not great, but there’s something there that is maybe almost ready to become something more. A move away from being a move away. Let a man dream.
The Pats have been the worst team in the NFL for basically all of their existence – the Tom Brady years were just an anomoly. They’re back home and they’re going to stay there forever. And lord let Essendon continue to lose. Them missing the finals each year is the best meme in sports. As for the Raiders….
I hate you Jeremy.
Why can I coach a junior rep team 3 different backline plays yet all the Raiders seem to do is crash ball to a forward. Iain S
Do you think the Raiders have plays when inside the opponents 20m, or do they just make it up? Apart from a flat pass to a forward with 3 defenders in front of him, do they have structured plays to involve the backs and engage the defence? If so, what are they and where have they been? John G
Ok hear me out. Iain and John, attacking coaches for the Milk. Who says no?
I have to admit watching Jack try and run the same run-around play for the last 4 or 5 years, never quite perfecting it, either in his decisions about when to run it, or in its execution has been fascinating. Is that the only set play the club has? Is Mick Crawley, esteemed attacking coach, taking naps at training? Someone get Colin Best on the case.
What will likely happen to Jordan Rapana and Elliot Whitehead post retirement? Will they remain in Canberra? Benjamin C
Elliott, yes. I believe that’s already been announced.
For his part Rapa will roam the Earth, a vigilante righting wrongs done to the people of Canberra. Palming off ne’er do wells and farting on the heads of the unjust. A silent but deadly vengeance. Then he’ll come home and rest, the sleep of the righteous.
Do you think the team will be better or worse without Wighton ? Stuart H
As I wrote here I can see a pathway to being better. Their offence last season was strained. Playing like they’ve met before will go a long way to addressing that.
I’ve got $1.01 odds on every “expert” analysis on us for 2024 coming down to “the departure of wighton” in some capacity because they’re too lazy to actually analyse us in general. I think that’s overs. Thoughts Dan? Sean (@rangaboiseany)
I’ve got a mate who watches NRL360. I say ‘a’ mate because I don’t speak to anyone else that watches regularly. It’s because you don’t need to. As Sean points out you know what people are going to say before they say it. Every Raiders loss will talk about Wighton missing (and certainly rarely about game-plans, structures, or anything in the purview of Coach Stuart). Every win will be followed by something about ‘scrappy’, ‘promise’ and definitely mention something about them really giving it all for Stick. Fun.
How long before Fox sports and other sports media take back their comments about us being wooden spooners because of no Jack? Charles (@cjkuta)
The only problem with this Charles is assuming the media would ever acknowledge error.
Which young Raiders do you see making their club debuts this year? (@RNEditss)
Noting that Trevilyan, Strange and Puru have already played top line the list isn’t as long as one would think. Kaeo Weekes, Morgan Smithies and Zac Hosking are obvious ones, and Chevy Stewart will be playing first grade by the end of the season. But my outsider is Michael Asomua. He’s been pushing his way to the top line for the last few years, an outside backs version of Ata Mariota. We’ve seen him coming. It’s almost his time.
If you had to bet your favourite cap signed by Big Mal on which player (men) now aged 21 or less will make it in the NRL this year, who would it be and why? Any player who might bloom mid career? Kathy S
Hohepa Puru is going to be very good at football. All he needs in the opportunity.
What is the Valkyries ceiling for this year? Where will they likely end up? Can they save our sanity? Kathy S
Without wanting to step on the excellent coverage that Viv and Rob will bring to this space over the coming months I am very high on this team. Last year you could see them working out how to play together – I make cracks about people playing like they’d just met, but not only that, but some of these players were finding themselves in a professional environment for the first time. They still beat (some of) the best the comp had to offer. They have star power and leadership (Taufa, Temara, Holyman, Kemp, Nicholls). They have plenty of talent. They will be luckier with injuries (Monalisa Soliola was a huge loss, as was Emma Barnes).
In short they’re going to win the competition. Carn the Raiders.
Which players in the Stuart era do you think would make it into an all time Raiders 17? (@doylejopado)
I think you can make the argument for a few. Rapana is a shoe-in for me, alongside Chicka Ferguson on the wing. Papalii too gets in, for both his work on the edge and dragging the Milk to the 2019 Grand Final with some of the most amazing feats you will see performed by a prop.
I think people will want to squeeze Jack in there – he won a Dally M and Clive Churchill. I don’t think we can ignore that, as much as I want to burn photos of him like a bad break up (I’d get a hair cut but I don’t really have any hair left). He never was a really good centre for the club (not saying he can’t play the position, just playing the position never coincided with his best footy for the Milk). That means he’s sitting behind Loz. Tough break I guess.
Josh Hodgson is a favourite of mine, and most people will have Boxhead ahead of him, but I think it’s at least an argument. Maybe one plays 14 and you squeeze them both in. If Joey Taps keeps up his play of the last two years for a few longer he probably gets in.
Then we get to Jarrod Croker. I could probably write a billion words on this and you could convince me either way. Was he ever the best at his position? No. Are there more talented options, who had higher ceilings to their play. Yes, BJ Leilua was a contemporary. Did he embrace leadership, being the face of an organisation in its hour of need? Is he one of the people I think of first when I think about the Raiders? Yes and yes farkn. Get him in there.
Why am I so lonel… I mean… Quite genuinely, I worry for the mod-long term viability of the Raiders in terms of corporate support and population growth etc. Are they a candidate to be relocated to Perth/Adelaide? Tooves (@OneTooves)
Tooves put me through the five stages of grief on this one. There’s no doubt the Raiders are the little engine that could. It’s been remarked in the past that the league has basically spent the best part of the NRL era trying to get rid of the Raiders. Apart from being a small TV draw, they don’t have access to the corporate largesse of teams in other cities and that’s not going to change any time soon. While Canberra’s economy is diversifying the fact that the Raiders NRLW team are still sponsored by a consultancy gives you an idea of the nature of that change. They desperately need a new stadium, in the city, and without corporate money there’s simply not enough cash to address that. They will never be a destination for Sydneysiders more seduced by the glamour and ‘high’ life of the Eastern suburbs.
But I don’t think the club is likely to be moved. There are reasons for that are about the Raiders. Off the field they’re mostly competently administered and thankfully have a board full of people who know how functional organisations are run. They’ve made intelligent financial decisions about property that will give them a stable and growing financial basis. They’ve got access to pokies money, which while I agree with the Whitlams, does give a ‘break-in-case of emergency’ liquidity (as evidenced and offered during the initial stages of the pandemic).
But more importantly for the NRL, the Raiders are a geographical presence. Both in terms of talent development and acquisition throughout NSW. They have a huge presence in the Riverina, on the south coast, and other areas that other clubs (and importantly, the NRL) are too dumb to do the work on. Canberra is also the first line of the battle with AFL in NSW. People talk about western Sydney, but that battle has been raging for decades in country towns around New South Wales, and arguably in Canberra itself (where it has been won, no matter what the Giants array of ex rugby union fans will tell you).
Giving up the Raiders for, say Perth, or Adelaide, wouldn’t add a net increase to the game, but rather remove one of its most stable and important ones.
What a depressing thought. We can’t end on that.
If the Canberra Raiders were a biscuit, which biscuit would they be? Harry S @TheScorsizzler
Thank you Harry. I was getting a bit sad there.
It’s important we get into some proper analysis. Some rules: first we’re using Arnotts biscuits for the most part (because if you’ve been in a break room in your time you’re familiar with them) and we’re going broad. So not necessarily where they are now but more what they represent over a longer period of time.
Before we get going some players. Corey Horsburgh is a ginger nut for obvious reasons. Late career James Graham is a stale ginger nut (they get harder the older they get). Josh Miller was an ANZAC biscuit because he loved contact. Nathan Cleary gets to be milk arrowroot. Everyone will claim they’re boring but when it’s a crisis and you’ve not been able to keep anything down for days they’re the thing you need. Clutch biscuit. Daly Cherry-Evans is a scotch finger because it looks like his neck. Josh Papalii is a choc chip biscuit because who doesn’t like a choc chip biscuit? I will fight you if you don’t like a choc chip biscuit.
Ok teams. I think it’s probably important to start with ruling out some options rather than in. For starters you can rule out Monte Carlos which are the Roosters: they look fancy but are for awful people with no taste. The Broncos are delta creams – a lot of noise and fireworks but secretly not as impressive as they think. The Panthers are the Tim Tams. I hate how much people talk them up but you have to admit they’re the best. The Titans are iced vovos. Look fancy but always disappointing. The Storm are Oreos because they’re some imported bullshit and secretly awesome.
Wests Tigers are the orange slice; not just for colour but because when all is said is done they’ll be left out. Shortbread creams are the Dragons cos your Nan used to gobble them back inthe day. The Bunnies are Kingston Creams. All the best ingredients but inexplicably crumble when put under a bit of pressure. Manly are venetians. White chocolate and currants. No one wants either of those things. Parra are a lemon crisp because I’m sure there was a time they were amazing but I’m not old enough to remember it.
Ok the Raiders. Firstly they have to be good with milk. Secondly they have to be kinda overlooked, but also mostly pleasant and largely inoffensive. Held back by lack of status but secretly awesome. Liked by most but loved by the few (and the brave). Everyone’s second favourite biscuit.
The Raiders are a Mint slice. Great with milk. No one is going to pretend liking a mint slice is a personality like they do with Tim tams or Oreos. But if you put a pack of them out they’ll get eaten. They will not make it back to the cupboard/fridge.
Given this year is the 30th anniversary of the last Raiders premiership in 1994, wouldn’t you say it is time for the footy gods to look kindly on their chosen people and reward us for our faith? Brenton S (@sloanefather)
Yes Brenton. Yes I would.
Sorry it took us so long to finish that. We had a busy week, also got sick, and man you’d be surprised how long mailbags take what with formatting and business. If I didn’t get to your question I’m genuinely sorry, I’ll add it into the pile for next time we do this. Anyway thanks as always to the legends that passed on questions. For those that didn’t you can say thanks to them by following the page on Facebook, following us on Twitter, or share this on social media. Don’t hesitate to send feedback (or more questions!) to dan@sportress.org or comment below.
The Sportress 