Government tracing possible bad luck cluster in Canberra

BY DAN

CANBERRA: The government is currently conducting a contact tracing exercise to identify the source of the Canberra Raiders bad luck.

“If we are to eliminate this bad luck, we need to understand where it has come from. We’ve got plenty of theories at this stage, mostly relating to Ben Cummins, but nothing conclusive”, a spokesperson for the National Hype Institute told The Sportress.

The Raiders have suffered a slew of season-ending injuries which have occurred in such close proximity to each other that the government has identified it as a cluster.

“Until we identify the source of this bad luck, we’re asking anyone that has come in contact with the Canberra Raiders to isolate for 14 days, and for godsake get tested to see if you’ve got bad luck too.”

We approached Sticky for comment but he said he told us he “didn’t give a shit” about luck.


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